Relationships in College
Many people report to have met their significant other during their college years, whether it be in undergraduate or graduate school. This pattern has led to certain expectations for the current crop of college attendees. Some parents are unabashed about voicing their desire for their son or daughter to find a spouse in school. When kids return home during holiday breaks, the question, “Do you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend)?” is inevitably asked.
But our society has changed so drastically, especially the dynamic of romantic relationships in a developmental experience such as college, the probability of finding your life partner is not as high as year’s past.
A big change I’ve noticed is the disconnected, and almost cynical, view young people have towards romantic relationships. Terms such as “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” are bandied about as if they were common, accepted rituals. And for those left out of the loop, hook-ups and "friendly" relationships with so-called benefits are essentially sexual flings denoting only physical attraction; no emotions are involved and the supposed prerequisites (or strings) associated with a relationship are void (hence the use of the term no strings attached).
This jaded view towards interpersonal relationships has resulted in less and less true connections and eventual long-term relationships in college. Young people alter their mindset and suppress any true emotional link to one another in order to fit this new mold of the unattached and uninhibited sexual being. Therefore, they put off the idea of meeting that special someone until later in life when they're supposed to truly “settle down.”
Now don’t get me wrong, college is a good time to experiment and meet new people. Getting tied down and beholden to one person too early is not wise. But using people purely for sexual means is not the answer either. Essentially, there is no more romance in a romantic relationship.
The key factor I believe is missing in today’s cavorting college youth is maintaining openness, even vulnerability, to the possibility of finding that one person who can truly satisfy you in every facet of life (not just sexually).
So have fun, meet new people, maybe have a fling or two, but don’t suppress your emotions. Don’t treat people as sexual objects and nothing else. Remember that every human being has feelings (they can’t be removed, even if you try). And who knows, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to find your soul mate.